Let me lead you through


On the thirteenth page of Barnes’ Levels of Life, I was drawn away for the fraction of a second- I was distracted by a vague recollection of the dream I had last night.

I was also distracted by the FM radio playing in the background. I was fiddling with the thought of switching it off and concentrating on the words in front of me. And the moment passed. I kept on reading: freedom…..moral space…. and a Kishore Da song about love and other things kept filling the room.

In a corner, I sat with my bare back pressed against his chest, with him against the wall, his lips on my shoulder as I turn my face and guide them to mine- our hands trying to caress and hold and let go all at the same time.

In the reception of a resort, I bid him goodbye. We stand there, between us feelings that we didn’t wish to acknowledge. Between us miles that may never be traversed.

In the reception of a resort, I bid him goodbye. Don’t shrug this off as a repetition just yet. Let me lead you. 

We stand expectantly, hoping to make this departure a statement that declares pent up feelings that we’re unable to understand.

In the reception of a resort, between us an electric current, a magnetic attraction of unprecedented proportions.

I hesitated, closed this distance between us and slid my hands across his waist hoping to give him a momentary half hug, better than the weight of words struggling to explain what we felt. I think it is allowed. It is allowed to make a gesture that says nothing but brings us closer.

We close our eyes for the split second contact that our bodies make and sigh. Both of us perhaps wishing to go farther than this but held back in a restraining urgency arising out of a lack of mutual declaration of love.

In the reception of a resort, you watch two people saying their goodbyes. You watch the story as I create it for you. You wonder what has happened before this and if this really is as simple as it looks. It’s not. But thank you for taking a peek inside my imagination. 

In the reception of a resort, a half hearted goodbye that stays lingering in the air after you’ve seen her walk away towards the exit and him undecided- watching her go.


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