Delusion

‘Have you ever nurtured a dream for so long that it begins to imply nothing but meaninglessness?’ She asked him, sliding her arm in his, as they sat overlooking the sunset over a distant horizon.
‘Elaborate, dear’, he replied nonchalantly.
A cool breeze brushed past the young couple. She tucked away curly locks behind her ear and smiled faintly.
‘Like holding on to memories until that remind of nothing. Like humming a familiar tune until you lose track of it. Like walking down a road you’ve trodden on so many times that all of a sudden you realize that you’re lost.’
He shook his head.
‘How can you be intrigued by things that don’t matter?’
She sighed. How deeply she wished he would see things and feel emotions the way she did.’ What matters then?’
He slipped his fingers into hers and said, ‘Ambitions, achievements, comfort, your love for me; these matter.’ She wondered if the order of the priorities in his life was reflected in the aforesaid sentence.
‘What about your love for me?’ She looked at her hand which he held firmly and tried to feel the touch but failed.
‘Don’t be silly. You know I love you.’ At this confirmation she lifted her head and looked at him. To her utter dismay, she now was looking at a complete stranger. Her words came mocking at her. . .

Like holding on to memories until that remind of nothing.
Like humming a familiar tune until you lose track of it.
Like walking down a road you’ve trodden on so many times that all of a sudden you realize that you’re lost.

Gently, she pulled herself from him and stood up.
‘Are you leaving already?’ he said.
She gazed at the crimson sky veiled in her heart’s disappointment.
‘It has been a long time coming. I must leave.’ She walked away, leaving him to his own thoughts.
The breeze blew past them yet again.
To him, comforting and mystical; to her, cold and ruthless.

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My sky

Its my sky,
a bit of me and my life.
Clear and starry one moment,
dark and overcast the next.
Winged aspirations soar high,
fluttering free, undaunted.
A dose of poetry,
prose and verse amalgamated.
A whiff of you, a piece of me.
And that is how my sky is complete.
Yet endless, vast,
stretching beyond the horizon,
beautiful, serene and tranquil.
A plethora of windy storms on the surface,
frozen crystals underneath.
Too simple to be indulged into,
too complex to be believed.
My sky, a part and the whole of ‘me’.

Status quo

Image

Loss is an important part of our lives as any other aspect we value. It just teaches us so many lessons. Somewhere, along the way, all of us need to understand this. We just cannot keep holding on to people who have decided that time is ripe for them to leave. Suppose we have a material possession that we are very passionately attached to. What happens when realisation dawns upon us that it has been irretrievably lost? We resent the lost and regret our carelessness in not safeguarding it properly. But slowly, no matter how late, we do come to terms with it and life goes on.

People, on the other hand, fulfill our emotional requirements. They influence us in varying degrees and as becomes the dependability on some of them that we cannot imagine life without them. All of us are constantly waging battles against our own feelings coming to terms with people chosing to walk out. It hurts, obviously. Deep down inside, you get plagued with a sinking feeling that takes control and there is nothing else you can put your attention to. Physically, the body reacts with extremeties- anxiety, depression, loss of appetite, frequent mood swings and convulsions. It all arises in the head and you btake turns to blame others and most predominantly, yourself.

There is no rule book that can put down how failure in a romantic relationship feels. It either makes or breaks you. The heart that has been hurt thinks it may never love again. But sooner or later you get out of it if you endorse the correct attitude. The first step that we should take is the acceptance that even if we might have loved someone dearly, he/she cannot be forced to love us back. And when they choose to leave, the decision needs to be respected and there must not be any kind of bargaining to just keep that person back for the very sake of it. Loss, as I stated, is inevitable. It creates a void that no one can fill. But it does’nt mean that there is nothing left to look forward to. Love yourself for the time being and the tears shall dry up and be replaced with a wry smile. Once we reach that point when we can smile about all the good things it brought to us, we’ll be a step ahead in our efforts to rebuild our lives.

The paradox

Life is so full of paradoxes that it would definitely be mind boggling to keep a track. Don’t we very often find ourselves trapped in a Catch-22 situation? The solution to the problem takes us back to the problem itself and we’re profoundly confounded.
Be it science or mathematics, the paradox never leaves our side! So if a bucket with infinite capacity is full, there’s always some more that can be added to it. Tell this to a cynic and wait for the awe you expect. Unfortunately, he replies with:
‘a. It cannot have infinite capacity.
b. If it does have, it cannot be full. I think you’re asking the wrong question.’
The very beauty of paradox is spoiled by a tinge of reasoning.

The paradox

Life is so full of paradoxes that it would definitely be mind boggling to keep a track. Don’t we very often find ourselves trapped in a Catch-22 situation? The solution to the problem takes us back to the problem itself and we’re profoundly confounded.
Be it science or mathematics, the paradox never leaves our side! So if a bucket with infinite capacity is full, there’s always some more that can be added to it. Tell this to a cynic and wait for the awe you expect. Unfortunately, he replies with:
‘a. It cannot have infinite capacity.
b. If it does have, it cannot be full. I think you’re asking the wrong question.’
The very beauty of paradox is spoiled by a tinge of reasoning.

War

 

I shall tell you a story
Of mortals dead and forgotten.
Justice awaited upon and hopes shattered.
Structures razed and homes devastated.

Of an apparent child killed while just a foetus.
Women assaulted, raped, tortured, blackmailed, burnt and dictated.
Their tears dried up long ago.
But the humiliation flows inside their veins.

Of children lost, kidnapped, trafficked and sold.
Carrying on through the rest of their lives.
Dreaming about their bleak future.

Of the whistleblowers
paying for their goodwill
by burning at the pyre
or buried deep underneath the cobweb of crime.
Threatened, accused, stabbed and shot.

The narration seems long and tedious, is it?
But it is just the tip of the iceberg we live on.
I suppose you possess a lot of time to spare.
And here I am, with so much to share.

It ends?

Your reasons are beyond me.
Do I not interest you anymore,
now being within your reach?
Months of hide and seek,
an adventurous escapade.
And it ends?

I’m not the mysterious puzzle anymore.
Did it take you so long to realise?
That I can’t be flawlessly beautiful at all time.
That I might be messy and untidy and I ought to be excused.
That I can’t forever stay young.
You are just like them.
Like all of them.

Take away these memories.
Heaps of absolute rubbish.
Go away, sweet heart.
There’s but one regret,
down the years when you realise,
that you wronged a heart which loved you so,
you might want to come running,
begging me for another chance.
Oh frail me!
I may not be here,
my love.
I shall not be here.

Escapist tendencies

Life to us, is nasty and short. Everyday we get to hear the same stories repeating themselves over and over again – war, violence and despair. How exactly does our consciousness cope with the fact that gloom is inevitable? I think that is the point when the concept of alternate realities comes into existence. Let us take into account ‘daydreaming’ which is essentially considered a child’s forte. Is that true? I have found myself daydreaming whenever the stark realities of the monotonous life haunts me. So it doesn’t matter if I am attending a class, travelling, cooking, reading or doing anything else. Instantaneous imagination comes naturally to me and helps me to adapt myself to the truths that this world has to offer. Entire industries flourish on this very tendency of rational humans to look for amusement that for a while, makes them forget their worries. So we choose to read adrenaline heightening novels that transport us to a world which seems different in some respect than the one we are a part of. The very fact that we tend to identify parts of ourselves with the characters encourages the subconscious to revel in it. Same stands true for visual media like television and cinema. So is it the reason that the shows and movies that depict a utopian or happily-ever-after setting climb to the topmost rung of the popularity ladder? Has social network become a medium through which people choose to interact with friends virtually and not in person because that defeats the very purpose of seeking an ‘escape’? This is what I have to find out.

Bare

Locked up within trecherous depths of apprehension,
a blatant assertion laid bare.
It shocks and surprises you,
it startles me.
Read between the lines and you will find out why.
And while you and me, go on distractedly,
holding on in speculation of ‘Perhaps,maybe,I wish, I hope. . . ‘
while the brutish truth stares in my eyes,
and I look away.
All the truth, like an open book.
And while choose to turn pages and be engrossed,
here’s a book wanting to be embedded in your intellectual spirit.

What you desire is mine.
And while we let go of the sadistic contempt made obvious,
hold my hand and lead me through.
I surrender my being to you.
Read between the lines.
Between the wrecks of a heart that has been bottled up
and thrown into a sea of crowded emotions.
Hoping to be picked up by you,
wishing to open up.
So desperately vying for an eternal kiss,
the ghost of an embrace that didn’t exist.
Between my thoughts and yours.
Let them entangle and become a perplexed storm,
painful to envision a lonely existence.
My feelings lie here, undressed, bare.
And in the glow that your eyes burn with,
they gleam and glisten.