We should not claim to understand what goes on in the mind of a person who has given up on life.
Have you been there?
Have you been there, teetering at the edge of despair when death seems like a better option than survival?
Most probably, you shake your head vehemently in the negative.
How can you judge, then?
I know, it is better to live a long, full life. Someone who chooses death must have nothing to look forward to. NOTHING. When they put their heads to rest, they don’t lie dormant staring at the ceiling until they fall asleep.
When we look at their lives, we find it going so good for them.
What was the need?
But no, in the mind of someone pulling the trigger, she’s caught between the dilemma of jumping from the building or getting burnt along with it. When I watch from afar, I want her to stay put because it is not me faced with a choice between the devil and the sea.
So in the comfort of your friends and family, it is easy to miss what ghosts wreck the psychological defense of someone suicidal.
We have been talking about recognizing depression as a real threat to a person but we miss the signs that someone might be in the pits and we go on pretending that he’s seeking attention or just throwing tantrums.
Our answers to helplessness and desperation have set in stone.
You should go out.
You should think positive.
You shouldn’t watch such depressing stuff.
You should stop thinking.
You should stop existing.
As my bus approaches the bridge,I look down and see murky muddy water in a rage.
And I can feel myself drowning already. And I know, not one amongst the 50 people on the bus is looking at that possibility. They’re looking ahead, because this journey ends. And that is the purpose at hand. I look at the dilapidated structure as we cross it and wonder,
This bridge is in such a bad condition. It’s going to fall any day now. Will it be the day I make the return trip? And again,
I am sinking, trying to breathe, unable to see anything, the weight of things crushing on me. How much longer will I be able to hold on? I don’t want to feel death just yet. But I AM staring at it.
We have crossed the slight momentary trepidation but I am still there, I am still sinking to the bottom. Can no one see it at all?
Someone who knows me, might.
So the only people who can save others from drowning in despair are the ones that truly know how the mind of that person works.
As friends, it is our responsibility to at least try. To talk and listen. To stall.
As friends, we distance ourselves from the ‘negativity’ and start telling them to not post depressing shit on social media. We ask them to not constantly seek attention because for us, the range of emotions contains only two:
You’re either happy.
And nothing comes in between.
They’re not seeking attention.
It’s like a ‘save our souls’ message. Will you respond?
Will you be first responders?
What will you say?